KAZANTIP: Ukraine’s answer to all your problems

For four weeks in July and August, The Republic of Kazantip takes over the Crimean peninsula in Southern Ukraine.

I attended this festival in 2009 for four nights, and I had a great time, but I have to say its not for everyone. Go ahead google image this thing and see pictures of all the beautiful women. There’s promoters online that have put up videos and posts to make you think that this is some drug addled orgy, but its actually not like that at all. While I did notice a high concentration of incredibly attractive (and often naked) women, I also found this event pretty tame. Here’s what a typical day at kazantip boils down to:

You wake up in some sort of basic accomodation a few blocks from the beach. There are no resorts here, just basic level rooms and accomodations with a ceiling fan and maybe a fridge in your room if you were lucky. You get yourself all decked out for the beach and head down into the Republik of Kazantip. Entry is about $300 in cash, and that gets you an unlimited re-entry pass that works for the entire duration of your stay. You are required to wear this pass around your neck at all times. The passes had different colors based on who the person was.

RED: this was the generic party pass, which is what most people had.

GREEN: This color indicated people that were being paid to attend the event. These girls were usually in ridiculous costumes and would walk around the festival engaging everyone and pumping up the party.  I was told it was OK to talk to these girls

WHITE: This color indicated girls that were guests of some oligarch, and I should not under any circumstances attempt to communicate with these girls. I was told if I annoyed these girls in any way, I would be kicked out of kazantip, beaten up, or worse.

GOLD: These were the organizers, ballers, and pretty much all access. Someday I hope to obtain one.

During the day it was a mellow beach party scene, with several different stages pumping music out into the ocean, sort of cafe mambo ibiza style. It really was a lovely scene, mostly russian speaking, not a lot of wastedness, just a mellow buzz and some pretty hard techno beats

Once the sun went down, everyone would sit down together and watch the sunset

Once the sun goes down people usually retreat to their rooms and have a nack and rest up for the evening, to be honest I really dont know where everyone went, but things quieted down until about 11pm when people would return to the beach for the night time. At this point is was a typical rave scene, lots of neon, glowing stuff, girls offering you candy, and guys pounding beers and dancing themselves into a sweaty state of electronic euphoria. At night there were about four or five stages going with local ukranian and russian DJ’s holding it down. On a night when big name international Dj visits, they open the main amphitheater and he spins to the whole republic, which is pretty impressive. There are dancers that perform during the set, plenty of lazer beams (if you’re into that) and people generally go nuts here for any big name talent. In my case I saw Sven Vath, who put together one of the most boring BOOM BOOM BOOM sets I’ve heard, yet everyone seemed really into it for some reason.

The best part of Kazantip is the late night in the VIP section. I was lucky enough to gain access, via a friend of mine, to the heavily guarded VIP section at one end of the beach. This was a party tent sponsored by Moet/Hennessey¬† where you could order food, chill, get free wifi, and have your own private section of the beach. Most nights here a lot of the Kazantip dignitaries would gather for late night Dj sessions and the scene here was quite excellent I have to say. Friendly people, a very diverse mix of Ukranians, Russians and Europeans, and even private bathrooms. If you’re interested in going, I highly suggest you make use of this section, check out Z-Embassy. Most of the cool English-speaking people I met would end up in this section at the end of the night.

This was the daytime scene at VIP, daybeds, dubbed out beach house, a great way to relax and get some sun. The beach here is quite lovely.

This was the private compound of Mikhail Prokhorov, Russian Oligarch, who made his money in Nickel mining. God bless him, his futuristic compound was the only private residence on the beach, and was protected by machine gunned guards. It was common to see lineups of Russian models streaming onto his spaceship, somehow my Johnnynitelife.com business card did not grant me access (IF ONLY THEY KNEW!) So instead of partying with fifty nubile models, on the monkey bars to the right (pictured) I engaged some Ukranian dudes in a pull up competition and got my ass kicked.

About the Author